i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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