Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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