he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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