Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
