just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
