There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
