Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
