I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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