Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
