i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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