i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Randomize
