is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize