I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
