Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
