Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
