we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
