STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
