you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
did you just send me my own nude
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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