I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
