yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
