my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
