wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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