How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
