her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon