I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
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