I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I just gift wrapped bread.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
