Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
