yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
