i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
