guys are only as good as the porn they watch
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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