So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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