I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
