i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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