Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
