my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
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