oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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