its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
