Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize