we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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