When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
