UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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