4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
