Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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