She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
