The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Randomize
