i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
