am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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