Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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