I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
