Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
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I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
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Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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