Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
