happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
