Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
