sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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