i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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