i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
is this the sara with the beer cane?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
