Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
