The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize