don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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