shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
