your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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