it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
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no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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