There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Randomize
