i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
We have started to decorate penises.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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