After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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