oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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