All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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