I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
